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Be Evil.

I Read the World of Warcraft Forums for Two Reasons...

The first is that it gives me valuable insights into how to play my character in the game and do all that pretty new stuff since the expansion pack came out.

Second, sometimes it has random stuff like this:



(If you can't read the small font, that says: "I has a bucket" and in the second window "Noooo they be stealin' my bucket")

As we say in 1337 gamer terms: this reeks of win.

(And as a hidden, third reason, so that I can see a bunch of people base a person's worth as a human being on how well they play a game. You just can't find stupidity like that in the real world.)

Apparently Lebanon is Not in Africa. I Think it Moved Recently. Just to Spite Me.

Yesterday (Saturday December 2) there was a UIL competition. Several events ranging from academics to debate. Each person who goes does from 1 to maybe 3 events. I only ever go to take the Science test (20 bio questions, 20 chem, 20 physics). Perhaps I should make that clearer in the future.

It's always been a sort of fear for me that I'll go to a UIL competition and be drafted onto the mathematics or social studies teams, being as I have friends taking these tests and have done reasonably well in the subjects over the years.

I never expected this.

As we departed from our school to go to the competition about 1.5 hours away, my friends and I were sitting in the back few rows of the bus (their choice, not mine). Some of them were sleeping, some were listening to their iPods. Having forgot mine, and not feeling all that sleepy (despite having gotten up at about 5:30 after playing World of Warcraft with a friend till midnight to escape the scary party going on downstairs [with old people!]) I was just staring out the window. As I was staring at the barren Texas landscape, my latin teacher walks down the aisle of the bus, sits down in the seat in front of me, and turns around.

This said latin teacher (who shall be refered to as "Mrs. S") is also the debate coach (and of course she was there to do all the co-ordinating for the debate part of UIL with her team). She begins by saying, "Isaac! I have a job that needs doing and I thought of you!"

My first thought, "This cannot bode well."

As it turns out, one of the debaters had mysteriously not turned up. Unless someone else filled this person's place, the school would be charged a drop fee to the tune of about $50. She wanted me to fill this person's spot. Because all of the other debaters were busy at the time "Because of how this tournament is scheduled."

The event was Extemp. Basicly how the process goes is that when your name is called, you proceed to the front and draw 3 slips of paper from an envelope. You pick 1 (all three have topics written on them) and put the other 2 back. Then, you walk to your school's debate tubs (I knew what these were, we have had to push them off of tables to work whenever the Latin 3s and 4 students go into her office to do work seperate from the 2s) and research your topic for 30 minutes. Then, you walk to another room and give a 0-7 minute speech in front of a judge about your topic.

Mrs. S said that she didn't care whether I really tried or not (I don't believe this, she has tried at least twice before to get me hooked on debating, without sucess) and if I wanted I could walk into the judge's room, say "Darn it, I forgot my speech," and walk out again, so long as somebody was there to avoid the drop fee.

To show you how good of a debater Mrs. S clearly is, she never asked me if I would do it. She simply stated the facts, oulined how I would be doing it, bribed me with a free soda (which I have yet to recieve) and walked away confident in the notion that the spot had been filled.

However, there were a few glitches.

First, I wasn't dressed for the ocasion. I knew this because before the bus left I had been talking to a guy in my AP-biology class who was doing this same event, and saw the suit he was wearing. There I was, wearing a "HHS Science Olympiad" T-shirt and a pair of blue shorts (contrary to what others would wear in weather such as there was). When in the rooms, I felt rather under-dressed.

Second, there were scheduling problems for me. The event started at 8:30 and my science test (remember that? the whole reason I was there? Oh yeah, that.) was at 9:45, so timeing would have to move perfectly.

Third, I would have to impersonate someone. I was told that my name would now be Bridget W, despite the fact that I looked nothing like any Bridget I had ever met. My friends got a good laugh out of this, so, capitalizing on the moment to make a joke, I turned to them and said, "Yeah, I'm in the witness protection program. I change my name often." They laughed harder.

Despite these, I agreed. After hearing the story of another person Mrs. S had done this too (this other person also happens to be in my Bio-AP class) who had earned a medal after being thrown into Extempt in one day (this speech was no doubt supposed to motivate me to join debate full time as said person had), the event started...sort of.

We went into the room and waited. It started late, which sent me into shock because I was going to be late for my science test because I was being nice to the debate team's finances. However, Mrs. S got me moved to first speaker, so hopefully everything would work better.

When roll-call came around for the room, Bridget W's name was called, and I answered "Here." The roll-caller nodded, looked back at her paper to proceed, then immediately did a double-take and looked back up. "Oh, you're that substitute," she said, and the whole room proceeded to look at me, and my T-shirt and shorts.

I went to the front and drew my topics:
1. The Stern Report- What did we learn about global warming? (I was tempted to take this one, since it was sciencey, but wasn't sure how much the tubs would have on 'The Stern Report."
2. Something about Taiwan. I don't remember it.
3. What is the UN doing about AIDS in Africa.

By process of what I thought the tubs had the most info on, I took the third. I went over and grabbed the "Health" folio from the tubs and went to the AIDS folder. There was one article on AIDS in there, and about 15 papers about Rwanda. I made a mental note to ask Mrs. S why this was so (and as of yet I have forgotten to do so), but then set to reading my one article for 30 minutes. I read that one several times, then had 20 minutes left, so I read the Rwanda articles, thinking they might say something about AIDS. Nothing.

When time was called I went to my assigned room. There was no judge.

At this point I was getting rather ticked off. Once again, we were back on track for me missing my Science test. I wasn't sure who I should tell about this so I stood in the hallway and waited (remembering that at competitions you're not supposed to enter the room without a judge). Eventually speaker 2 for this room came by and saw me standing there. She was in full debating uniform, and could clearly tell I didn't belong there, no way, no how. Eventually our timer for this room came by, looked around, and set off to find a judge. The rest of the details about the judge arn't important so we can fast forward to my speech.

When I go in, the timer tells me that after 4 minutes he will hold up a card with a 3 on it, after 5 a 2, after 6 a 1, and after 6.5 a 1/2 card. I tried my best not to laugh, I wouldn't be needing these cards. The speech I gave is pretty much (as near as I can remember) as follows:

"Unlike the genocide in Rwanda in 1994 (See? I worked in all those Rwanda files in all my spare time after reading one document) the threat of AIDS in Africa cannot be fought with military force, and must in stead be fought with more costly supplies. To that end, the United Nations created the World Fund in 2002 which in 2005 gave 1.4 to 2 billion dollars to the fight. This money has gone to beating the most threating part of AIDS, the lack of people to fight it. For example, one hospital in Ethiopia had 2 doctor and 2 nuses for 2000 people whereas an American hospital would have supplied 15 nurses."

The end. That's all I had. I didn't even no how to conclude it. All in all, it was 51 seconds long. I figured I was done, the school was saved $50, and I could go take my science test (actually about 14 minutes away) in peace.

So I went and took the test. I was hard, but then again the point of UIL is to get questions wrong. That's just how it works.

As I go back to sit at the table our school had taken and join in the game of Risk that was going on (a favorite pass-time of my friends and I at these events even though it has millions of pieces to transport), Mrs. S approached me. "I have some bad news Bridget," she said. "You advanced. The next round is at noon."

Every got a good laugh at this. I had redelivered my 51 second speech to several people, and none of us could understand how it got me into the second round. However, apparently my sister wasn't our families only Debate Prodigy. That or Mrs. S was bribing the judge in order to get me hooked. We can't rule that out.

I go in, and wonders upon wonders, this time I got to use my real name! Somehow paper work had gone through and I could be Isaac G instead of Bridget W. I drew more glances from people who couldn't understand how this kid in the shorts made it to the second round. Then I went up to draw my topicsl. I don't remember what the others were, but the topic I picked was:

What is the current status of the government of Lebanon?

I figured that this was a straight forward question with material in the tubs, so I took it. As I begun my 30 minute research period, I went straight for the Africa folder to find my info.

Apparently Lebanon is not in Africa. The fact that I thought it was should tell you something about how qualified I am to do Extemp. I can (and have) drawn a map of the World Travelers During the Post-Classical Era (good old Marco Polo and Ibn-Batuta) but I can't find Lebanon. Go figure.

When I didn't find anything, I switched to the Middle East folder (twice the size of the Africa folder, that should tell you something about the world today) and luckily found a file on it. This file was about 3 times the size of the AIDS and Rwanda material combined.

To make a long story slightly less long, I researched and went in to give my speech. When I went in, there was a judge but no time-keeper. The judge told me to take a seat and make my self comfortable. By what was written on the board I judged we were in the Sex-Ed classroom:

Sex-Ed Rules: (This was a big tip-off)
1. Dictionary names for body parts only.
2. Respect others questions. And so on.

I did not realize that making myself comfortable meant carrying on a conversation with the judge. It started with the dreaded, "So, how many Extemp tournaments have you been too?" I said that honestly, I was a replacement. "Oh. I won this one last year." This did not bode well.

When the speaker two lined up outside the door, and we still didn't have a time-keeper, I turned to the judge and said that my watch did have a stop-watch feature she could use. In a demanding voice she said, "Give it." I started my speech (I don't remember as many details now about this one, and it was longer, so I won't type it) and managed a nice 1 minute 12 seconds this time. I collected my watch, thanked the judge for her time, and left.

A good while later (While we were playing Risk again [no one at home will play against any of us, so we have to play alot at UIL]) the results from round two were posted. I did not advance. I have never been so happy to lose.

Betrayal Never Felt So Good

So, as some of you may have heard, the Nintendo Wii (The new generation Nintendo system) was released about 2 weeks ago. Through the miracle of Ebay (and impatient parents) I have managed to get my hands on one. This blog entry really isn't about the Wii itself.



What this is about is one certain game. One might almost call it THE Game for Wii. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.



For those that don't know, The Legend of Zelda is a long running series spanning several of Nintendo's systems from the original... The Legend of Zelda...


...to what is the commonly held (but not necessarily my belief) to be the best (and perhaps the best game of all time)... The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (On the Nintendo 64 system)...


...to the present... The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (Nintendo Wii...and Gamecube...but we'll get to that)...


One would assume that the games would feature a lead character named Zelda. That would be half-right. The main character is in fact a young man named Link...

...who lives in a land named Hyrule. The character Zelda is actually the princess of Hyrule. In each game Link must go into dungeons, collect magical items, and beat a boss character, for example the boss of the Fire Temple of Ocarina of Time, Volvagia.


So, now that we've established the series, were does the betrayal come in? Twilight Princess itself, is a game I have been looking forward to for around 2 years. Nintendo would have been wiser not to have released details regarding their new Zelda until they were sure when they could release it. First we were promised November 2005, so I went out and preordered a copy for the gamecube I already had. Then it got pushed back to March 06 to add more depth. Fans become upset. Then it got pushed back to August 06 to add more depth. Fans become irate. Then it got pushed back to November 06 so that a version could be released on the same day for both the Gamecube and the Wii. Fans become excited. Then the Gamecube version has been pushed back to an undetermined time.

However, now that I have a Wii, I have the Wii version of the game. It has several features the Gamecube version can't, for example the Wii's motion sensitive controller allows you to swing Link's sword or aim his bow and have it do so in the game. That's cool. And I had to get it so that I could figure out what happens story-wise, without doing it the un-noble way and reading it in a spoiler.

That just wouldn't have done the series justice.

So here I am, playing it. Was it worth the wait? For me, yes. For others on forums everywhere, they don't think so. Some are discontent because they think it doesn't measure up to others in the series. Some are discontent because they think it is better than their beloved Ocarina of Time. Some are discontent because it took so long to get here, and they don't think enough got added in the delays.

Personally, from the short 3 hours I have played (of a possibly 25+ hour game), I think it's great. Everything seems to be stepped up from previous. Plus at certain points Link gets transformed into a wolf so you can run around in the form of a beast. I love wolves. I think its awesome.

I just can't wait to finish it.

Thank you Nintendo, for once again delivering a stunning game.

And thank you parents, who were impatient enough to want to buy a Wii off Ebay instead of trying to find one in stores. That would have taken forever.

And This is my Visual Aid...

So, to start with, I'm taking Communication Applications this trimester (and at the end of this week, it will finally be over with).

This is also not an AP class (because there isn't one), but more what I refer to as "The Dum-dum class" where you get people who really either don't care about their work or couldn't handle it if they did care.

It's also required to graduate.

So, as a final speech, we've had to select a topic from a pre-decided list and prepare a 4 to 6 minute speech (the thing we were supposed to be learning here was endurance). My topic was Benjamin Franklin, so I made a powerpoint presentation of pictures to go along with it (since we had to have a visual aid). It was nice.

But that's not the point.

The point is all the other people, who get up in front of the class and start talking about their subject.

And almost all of them ended with the same line...

"And this is my visual aid."

[sarcasm] Really. I couldn't tell. Is that why I can visually see that it is a graph? Thanks for telling me... I never would have got it otherwise. [/sarcasm]

Those would be some of the most boring presentations I have ever had the misfortune to sit through. These people clearly learned nothing through the class about imbedding their visual aids inside the presentations. But no, they all ended with,

"And this is my visual aid."

Return of the Familial Strangeness

Disclaimer: I'm working under the assumption that everyone reading this has at least seen Star Wars (the original three, the prequals aren't important right now).

There's a grating in our church leading to some type of air duct. Or something. Anyway, it looks like the grating leading to the Rancor's pit in Return of the Jedi.

For reference:
The Rancor Pit:


The Rancor:


So we've called it the Rancor Pit everytime we walk over it in church. I'm not sure when we started calling it that, probably it was my brother and I who came up with the name, but you never know.

And thus today I was very insulted when Mom called it a bantha pit.

For Reference:
A Bantha:


They don't look like each other. They don't smell like each other. And lastly, any bantha wouldn't be happy in a pit. They like the dunes.

Now, for handy future reference, because Mom's scrapbooking habits have taught me that a picture is worth 1,000 words:
Tauntaun:


Ronto:


Space Slug:


Ysalamiri (Sadly, never shown in the movies):


Krayt Dragon (Sadly, never shown in the movies):


Now you can go wow your friends with your knowledge of Star Wars creatures. Or get laughed out of a biology lecture.

And yes, I do enjoy extra-terrestrial ecology.

(Join me next week for the lecture: "Do Balrogs Have Wings"*)

*Not a real offer for a real lecture. Nevertheless, if the topic interests you, the internet is full of essays written by people arguing the opposing points.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For...

Starscream?

Before I begin, I would like to make two disclaimers. First, I've been reading some of Edgar Allan Poe's poetry tonight and quoteing it for an essay (I'm pretty sure "The Raven" can be quoted for any essay an AP english class can devise) which when reading Poe, one can tend to enter a strange philosophic mode. Second, some of you readers may not be able to understand this blog without some explanation, which will be provided shortly.

First off, who is Starscream? The Transformers were (or that is to say are) a line of toys (and calling them such makes my soul hurt) that had/have two forms, that of a robot (armed with weapons) and a vehicle mode. The two forms were switched between by tweaking a plastic piece here, twisting there, and detaching and reataching here. They were broken into two factions, the Autobots (which we can sum up as "Good guys") and Decepticons (which through conotation of name alone would tell one that they were "Bad guys"). The two factions fought endlessly, led by two leaders, Optimus Prime for the Autobots and Megatron for the Decepticons.

You'll notice Starscream is not one of the leaders. And that is perhaps why he was my childhood (and still) favorite. But we'll get there. For the time being, a picture:



Recently, the company that makes such "Toys" re-released (in their original form) a select few of the ones that were around when I was a child. Starscream was listed among the re-released.

Starscream's alternate form was an airplane (according to the websites that know, an F-15 Eagle)* and is faithfully reproduced to the original figure (although the airplane-robot transformation has been cleaned up a little so that fewer pieces have to be removed).



So, why was Starscream my favorite character, and why, after I have professed to being matured and past such things (just last Friday I gave such a speech with a friendly smile to a dentist aid who offered me a choice from a prize jar) should I care?

Because of what he represents.

Starscream was Megatron's (a refresher: Decpeticon leader) second-in-command and as often happens with evil leaders, often plotted his overthrow and rise to power. Perhaps as the youngest of three children, my young mind saw Starscream as a fellow pursuer for accomplishment and recognition from behind huge shadows.

Or maybe it was just because he turned into a cool looking plane. I'll leave that question to the philosophers (philosophic Poe high has worn off).

*In the live-action movie planned for next year (a strange theme to make a live-action movie of, robots that turn into vehicles) apparently Starscream is planned to be an F-17 Raptor instead. I can just hear the heavens shouting "Travesty!"